The preferred medical treatment

for your weekly bowel report.

KLAIPĖDA (AP) — In a stunning reversal, Lithuania has somehow liberated Betty’s bowels and dobbed up JJ’s.

“This is great!” the relieved septuagenarian declared.  “I haven’t pooped like this in years.”

Reached by phone, JJ had no comment, except to say: “I’m buying some yogurt and see if that helps.”

And now, we turn to the lovely Aušra for today’s weather …