Mom and I had a lovely dinner Friday with young Eglė Zubriūtė and her boyfriend Andrius, who explained many things about Lithuania today and who had a bunch of questions about Americans.  These two journalism students are enthusiastic ambassadors for the country.

Eglė smiles American, while Andrius goes Lithuanian style

Eglė, whose name means pine tree (Christmas tree, as she says) is my “third row cousin” as the Lithuanians say it (trečios eilės puseserė).  Strictly speaking, according to the online guide I consulted, she’s my 3rd cousin 1x removed and my mother’s 2nd cousin 2x removed, but how does all that work, anyway?  That is to say, her great-great grandmother Konstancija Mardosaite (below left, seated) was sister to my great grandfather Antanas Mardosa (standing right holding Betty when she was 2).  In that generation, Konstancija stayed in Lithuania (along with brother Juozas and sister Morta) while Anthony and sisters Cecilia and Mary ventured to New York City between 1906-09.

[A note on Lithuanian surnames — they change based on gender and marital status.  Men’s names usually end in -is, –us, or –as.  Mardosa is a rare exception.  The same root name takes –aitė for unmarried women and –ienė for married women.  Some contemporary women, apparently, are chucking the double standard and going with just –ė these days, married or not.  Also of note, the country’s President, Iron Lady Dalia Grybauskaitė, has the unmarried form, as she is single.  She seems really smart and really tough, which is good, as she has to go toe-to-toe with Putin on a regular basis.]

Some notes from the dinner conversation:

• Baskeball is king.  Lithuanians were proud when the Soviet Olympic teams used to have 3 Lithuanian starters and even prouder when they started kicking ass for their own country.
• Lithuanian soccer teams aren’t that good, so Lithuanians root for other teams they like.
• Many Lithuanians like Kaunas much better than the capital, Vilnius.  Kaunas’ current mayor is regarded as doing great things, and the city is on a real upswing.
• Lithuanians don’t smile much and may seem cold/harsh, but they’re really not hostile or unhappy, it’s just not the custom to smile as much as Americans.  They’re surprised that we show teeth.  Seriously, people come back from the U.S.A. and say “they smile with teeth all the time.”
• They wonder how we Americans can eat hamburgers all the time and whether that makes us fat.  Answer: yes it does.  Please don’t adopt that bit of American culture, cousins.  Your food here is far healthier.
• Starbucks coffee isn’t in Lithuania yet, but they’ve all heard of it, and they already have strong opinions about its bad quality.  A local shop, Caffeine, maintains that they’re better than Starbucks, anyway.  Seriously, Starbucks, this country has a huge coffee culture with people drinking it on every corner.  Where the hell are you?

We’re so happy to connect with this cousin.  Eglė contacted me after I emailed the administrator of a local village history website.  That got people in the village talking.  Specifically, the email got passed to the neighbor of Eglė’s grandmother, who came over to chat about it, and the grandmother figured out that, indeed, we were cousins.  So she put her English-speaking granddaughter on the case.  (More on the grandmother in a subsequent post.)  It’s so fun to connect this way.  Ačiū, puseserė!